I remember once thinking that belief in G-d could be compared to belief in the concept of love.
I am sure a cynic could attack the idea of love. A cynic could say can you prove that love exists? Maybe all the care and devotion towards ones "loved" one is just motivated by selfish desires, and not love of the other at all? Maybe people live together because of practical reasons? Reasons like it is cheaper (split the rent half way, split the groceries half way etc..) A cynic might say why jump to non practical, non grounded non scientific reasons for explaining relationships like "love" if we can be more practical about the whole thing? Even further an evolutionist might say we don't dedicate our lives to finding and sustaining a relationship with our life's partner because we love them. We try to find a life long partner because it will be good for the continuation of our genes and species.
When I listen to these arguments, however convincing they might sound to my academic brain, my very soul screams out, no, this is not true, LOVE does exist! Life cannot be right without this missing ingredient called love. Their is a voice inside me, not a academic voice, but a voice stemming from an internal soul/wisdom which says you know and feel that love exists. And I have learned to listen to this second voice. I sincerely believe that in this confusing and sometimes overwhelming maze called life, we have to be guided by something higher than just plain logic. In this life, to find "truth" we need to be able to connect to our deeper wisdom, our "second voice." And my deeper wisdom says love does exist!
So, in the deepest way my inner voice says there is a G-d, there is a deeper power to this universe.There is a reason for every day, there is a deep purpose for every breath, there is a order to everything which happens, there is a purpose why we live and there is a purpose why we die.
My soul says I am not alone, G-d is right inside me, just waiting for me to say hello.
So much suffering comes from when we don't pay attention to our inner voice. When the voice says don't take the well paying bank job, be a painter instead, painting is what will give you real strength, painting is what will help you reach your real potential. You must listen to that voice. You must listen even if the academic brain goes into a crazy frenzy and says BUT THE BANK JOB MAKES MUCH MORE MONEY, BE PRACTICAL !!
My inner being and voice world like to live in a reality that when I am stranded on a dessert island during a deadly storm, to know deep down that I can actually DANCE!! I can dance because I am not alone, G-d is with me and this storm is happening for a reason. I can dance because even if I die (the worst possibility) that will be orchestrated by G-d as well. I can dance because the words of king David "Even when I travel in the valley of shadowed death, never need I dread evil when you are with me" (psalm 23) rings loudly in my ears. So I'll pray to G-d to help me out of this situation, dance a little, and let the light of my soul and mind guide me to safety.
So you ask why do I believe in G-d? I believe in G-d because deep down, I prefer do dance than to cry. I believe in G-d because I prefer to love than to live without love. I embrace G-d because in my quietest moments, G-d is the truth that rings true to my inner knowledge, to my inner voice. Lastly, I believe in G-d because I know that I must find the courage to listen, to embrace, and to accept my inner voice, come what may.
